ANTONIJE NINO ŽALICA

I like to write and it’s typically about my own experiences but I’ve never liked to write a kind of official biography, a CV as they call it. It feels very uncomfortable and unpleasant; to put it simply, it feels like I am writing about someone else rather than myself. I see the CV as a sort of a customary standard we are all forced to make. Like everyone else, I have the CV files prepared too, ready to be edited, copied and pasted as needed. I chose not to do it here though. I’d rather let my texts speak for themselves and have others talk about them.

 

And I’d rather let the images tell their story. It is all about the stories, including this photo in the background with the story of its own:  it was taken in my favorite place in Amsterdam and it tells the story about the hours I spent there with some dear people. It is also about a friend who used to be with us and who is no longer here. Everything is a story, whether we can recognize it or not. I wrote a novel about my experiences in Sarajevo under besiege and have had some 'success' with it: translations, reviews, invitations, travelling. It’s all nice. It’s a good feeling, too. I’ve been flattered but I have not enjoyed my ‘success’, because I know that I would have been the happiest man alive had I never written this book. I would have been much happier if I had been relaxed and comfortable so I could write some stupid SF instead. It’s true that not all writers are free to choose their own topic. Sometimes the ‘topic’ chooses them. It is also a question of responsibility; you have to tell your story on behalf of all of those who are not able to do it. Every story is from us and about us, whoever we are, and it has to be shared, otherwise the story (or history?) will always turn against us.

 

Trust me, please, I know it from the very first-hand experience. A part of my story is that I share my life with a lot of great people, I’ve met many in my exile, too - but most of them now live, more or less without their own will, displaced all over the world. They might be far, but we continue to share our lives, one way or another. We don't see each other for years, but we always know that we are still in some kind of ‘frequency or tune’ which cannot be disturbed either by time or space. Another part of my story is that I have a privilege to live my life in three fascinating places - Sarajevo (where I was born and grew up), Amsterdam (which is our home now) and Dubrovnik (where my beloved wife is from). One part of my story is in my books and other works, and another in my background, family, friendships and loves. The third part, the one - 'who am I for real?' - is just fractionally known to me and is still open for further exploration.